Night write.

A bee sits on the windowsill 

Licking up jam, eating its fill.

Well, good! I hope you stay that way

But, more importantly, stay away!

Daddy long legs? Why, even my legs are longer than yours.

(Thank God for that.)

I’m tired. There’s nothing special about this.

As usual, I’m just taking the p*ss.

I haven’t written in such a long time

I’ve almost forgotten how to rhyme.

Of course that’s just a hyperbole

Else it would be contradictory.

Thanks Gibbo!

Love this new theme (it’s called Beach) – certainly warms me up on a cold winter’s day. Well, it’s not that cold in Hong Kong, really, but I still find it chilly. 😦

Hope everyone’s fine and enjoying themselves!

P.S.: As Beach provides a ‘Status Post’ format and other awesome functions, I’ll probably be spamming all you subscribers’ inboxes. Hah. And as I missed the Bloggiesta held last weekend, I’ll be having a belated one of my own, currently scheduled for the 4th-6th of February. Which reminds me – if you scribbled down some New Year’s Resolutions for 2011, it’s time to check on them.

Now what’re you waiting for?

Time flies: time to snip at the phrases.

Yes, today we’ll be looking at the horrible 9-letter phrase that is used over a million times a day. The moving duo that sends tears down your cheeks. Or maybe not.

So, time flies.

With what? Wings – I mean, just wings? Or does it have a supersonic propeller fitted with an forcefield shield? Like the ones in science fiction?

The phrase itself is questionable. It’s supposed to mean time ‘goes by quickly’, hence the word ‘fly’, but ‘fly’ itself doesn’t represent speed. It shows the medium of travel. You could fly at 0.0001 km/h, and it would still be called flying. Flaw or not?

I shouldn’t be picking on this. It is a metaphor after all, and metaphors aren’t supposed to be realistic, at least not in real time.

Ah, does time not fly by when you’re typing nonsense? 😉

Finest produce from political hassle

Every time it comes to passing laws, it takes around 15.234321 protests, 1292.0121 hours, and 68.34 government officials. Just kidding. But I’m not kidding about these laws: they’re really the pride and joy of the 21st century. Even though they may not exist. But they do, according to dumblaws.com. Or do they?

Switzerland: “It is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 PM.” Champion, definitely.

Singapore: “If you are convicted of littering three times, you will have to clean the streets on Sundays with a bib on saying, “I am a litterer.” They sure are toughies.

United Kingdom: With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.

Philippines: “Cars whose license plates end with a 1 or 2 are not allowed on the roads on Monday, 3 or 4 on Tuesday, 5 or 6 on Wednesday, 7 or 8 on Thursday, and 9 or 0 on Friday from 7:00 AM.” It’s pretty environmental, but that’s another consideration for getting your license plate.

And that’s a few of the finest county laws! Aren’t we all proud.

Archnemesis

Hullo modern day

filled with Computers of vast array

On Screens square lighters group

form Images, real to stubborn eye

A glance, oh how majestic, Screen

displaying World I’ve ne’er yet seen,

sneaks into my life like jewel thief

with Evils up its pixel’d sleeve

Invade, within hours, transmit

Hangovers without wine, pour slow, sure venom

with Hands so steady, Sword shimmering

stabs my gaze, I howl

Rigid in pain, throbbing, heavy,

punch the screen kill the source

Kill, kill, and kill again, merciless

But the ache will not depart –

another Shadow of my aching heart.

LOL 🙂

(Image credits: http://www.bingegamer.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/punch-small.jpg)

Octopuses and Parakeets

I thought the World Cup was about soccer. Not animals.

Now it seems that the final will decide the fate of four, not two, parties. Yup, it’s Spain VS the Netherlands, and Pa-ul the Octopus VS Mani the Parakeet.

12/7 02:30, HKG time.

Brief background: Paul the Octopus has correctly ‘predicted’ all of Germany’s matches this year, including their loss to Spain and their win over Uruguay. Mani’s owner claimed his parakeet predicted the outcomes of the four quarterfinals. For tonight’s match, Paul is, again, sucking up to Spain whilst Mani is betting on the Dutch. Some showdown.

Or not.

First, Paul. There are a few theories floating around as to how he makes his decisions. (I’ll only address two.)

1. By color. (apologies for the crappy flag arrangement.)

Paul is, after all, an octopus. So would it be surprise for it to have a favourite color? Yellow, perhaps?

Between the German and Uruguayan flags, the German flag has much more red and yellow in it (red 100% – 0%; yellow 33.3% – <20%). Same with the Argentine, English (they actually look close), Ghanaian (they equal on red but the German flag has more yellow in it), and Australian flags. Spain has more red AND more yellow, and so was chosen.

The strange case here is the Serbian flag. (And perhaps the Ghanian flag.) A further hypothesis is that Paul likes red more than yellow, but when there are equal amounts of red in           both flags, he goes for the one with more yellow in it.

Is it even possible for an octopus to be so picky, and so double-color oriented? I’ll leave that to the octopode experts.

NOTE: This doesn’t mean that countries with more red in their flags are better. That’s absurd.

2. Left-Right.

Some people think that Paul always picks the country in the right box. Wrong. He picked Germany over England when Germany was in the left box. But maybe he was just fickle that day. :/

The point is, much of the world believes in Paul’s predictions. And when the world AND a ‘psychic octopus’ is pitched against you, it’s hard not to feel nervous.

About Mani, I haven’t seen his quarter-final pickings, so I can’t note anything down yet. Will update as soon as possible.

Perhaps, a few years later, we’ll look back and think how silly we were to believe in a pair of so-called ‘psychic’ animals. Then and again, one of them could be psychic. Oh well.